Since I know that those who work at Kotaku would like its reputation as a quality gaming news site to continue unblemished, I have decided to do some editing for you pro bono. Let’s take a looksee at your article, shall we?įirst off, your opening paragraph needs work: Does my magnanimity know no bounds? No, it does not. 'In spring 2009, the Western media caused a brouhaha over computer game Rapelay. The game was released in 2006, and CNN is only now covering the controversy. The rhetorical question of “why?” at the end of the paragraph should be cut it can be easily answered by clicking through to the CNN article. In addition, some background information as to the timeline of the controversy would help to show that you have the basic researching abilities that is a taken as given for all professional journalists. This is especially important, since you’ve already written multiple articles following the issue and therefore cannot plead ignorance on any misleading omissions.

I suggest something along the lines of the following: